Monday 14 July 2014

Fragrant Lies, Smelly Truths and Irritating Awesomeness

As an entrepreneur you have to do a lot of talking. However, the way you talk can seriously damage your chances of making a good impression in presentations, interviews or even in everyday conversation. That being so, I thought I'd list out some nasty spoken habits, that if you want to get ahead in business, it'd be worthwhile avoiding.
Filler really is my pet hate, perhaps because it's so common. Sometimes, it's when people insert a word or sound into a sentence when they are pausing to think, but more often than not it's part of a deliberate speech pattern or accent. Not just 'ums' and 'ahs', but words like 'obviously' when something isn't, and 'like' when it doesn't relate to any matter of taste.

If you are one of the 'like' generation and don't realise how this habit demeans you, grab your smartphone and record yourself a few times in a meeting. You'll soon realise it's infuriating to the listener. Stop using filler words, and pause rather than trying to populate space. You'll end up sounding considered and thoughtful, like you're choosing your words carefully.

Turning statements into questions also ranks high on my irritation list. This can be a relatively benign raise of voice pitch at the end of the sentence, or, much, much, worse, can be signalled by an actual word or phrase, such as 'y'know?' , 'innit?' ,'yeah?' or 'am I right'? It just sounds ignorant, but also signals constantly that you're not comfortable with your ability to communicate clearly, or are not listening to your interlocutor's responses.

Ditch the habit, or if you are really unsure whether the other person is keeping up, first think about whether you could be more effective in your explanation, then ask a specific question such as: 'Does that make sense to you?' or 'Anything you'd like me to go over?' The point is either to ask questions or make statements. Don't try to do both.

Another bugbear for me is gobbledegook. This is typically intended to make a person sound like they are an expert, or some sort of insider. It rarely succeeds. So much of it comes from the United States, but is now jargon used around the world. You know the sort of nonsense. 'We're reaching out to establish a dialogue...' rather than 'We're calling to talk about'.

To avoid this sort of pomposity speak like Hemmingway wrote  no, not endless tomes about shark fishing, bullfighting and drinking  but using Anglo Saxon words such as 'dig' rather than 'excavate', and terms as they're defined in the dictionary, not in your head. That way, you'll sound more like a professional and less like a caricature BBC manager.

Another method used in an attempt to sound professional or engaged, involves the overuse of clichés – words and metaphors that have been used so frequently that they have lost all impact. Anything that is 'the new rock 'n roll' fits into this category, as does describing something as 'awesome'. Devoid of meaning, they're just noise, so avoid these phrases and words completely or think up some new ones.

Also, attempting to use apparently impressive sounding words and phrases rather than smaller, common terms usually sounds downright pretentious and prevents understanding. Why say 'create strategic options and tactical approaches' when you could say, 'make a plan.' Similarly, why say 'implement multimodal transportation infrastructure' when you mean 'help people get around'.

Euphemisms are so often used in an attempt to soften some imagined blow. For example, saying 'compact' when you mean 'tiny', or claiming to 'free up their future' when making someone redundant. It's disingenuous to say the least, so don't do it. You'll get more trust, respect and credibility in the long term for telling smelly truths rather than fragrant lies. People aren't stupid, and the reality is you're not fooling anyone. Except perhaps, yourself.

False apology too is what people also attempt when they want to lessen the impact of an event or statement of truth, but when they really don't mean what they are about to say or they aren't really sorry for what they have just said. 'With the greatest respect' is one of my favourites, signalling the insult to come. Additionally, how often have you heard someone use the phrase 'Sorry if that offended anybody', when they clearly don't care a jot?

If you think about it for a nanosecond, such so-called apologies actually add the passive-aggressive insult of blaming the other person for being offended to the injury of the original slight. In contrast, real apologies are unequivocal. They are brave and honest. If you can't express regret sincerely, don't bother, because you're not really apologising and everyone knows it.

Blurting is an irritating sin committed when someone is apprehensive. This is characterised by the spewing out of a stream of facts or observations without considering if any might be of interest to the listener, or before anyone can ask questions.

Like all modern communications, whether you are engaging people face to face or remotely, think 'friendly conversation' not 'market stall pitch'. Relax, ask questions, respond to comments and establish what's needed to fuel the dialogue. Only then, insert easily understood facts, figures and observations that are immediately relevant or add value to the conversation.

As the old saying goes `you have two ears and one mouth - use them in that ratio!`

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